last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
