Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
