walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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