he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
