my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
