If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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