I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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