there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
