I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
