Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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