Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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