I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
