We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
