Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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