Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
