Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
