she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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