This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
