Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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