Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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