This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
