I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
