Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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