This is not my ceiling
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
