Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
