I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
