Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
