i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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