Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
