As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
