a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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