You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
