Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
