eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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