yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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