her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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