that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
