CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
