I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
