Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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