TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
