I want to have your abortion
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
