bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
