GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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