I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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