it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
