having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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