I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
