after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize