They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I wear drunk well.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
